The City That Never Sleeps
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posted : March 29, 2014
Public blogging forces you to censor your thoughts at times. As much you can try to convince yourself, that you write for yourself and not your audience, you are lying. Every one keeps a close watch on page views per day, likes per post every couple of hours. Everyone wants to get published somewhere Be it the local newspaper or a more international platform.
I have become a lousy writer. I get stuck every other sentence. I look for words strewn in the air and continue writing. I get distracted and end up on social media platforms every 15 mins. I just checked my Instagram feed by the way. Bleah.
8 months.
I have missed everything about you. Everything.
The night of me standing in front of you in the ward flashes every night. One moment I heard your breathing although it was heavy. The next minute, everything grew silent. I only heard cries in the room. And I leaned against the wall to fight back the floodgates. I couldn't remember the last time I really spoke to you. More than a sentence or two. I couldn't remember the last time you called out my name. The last time I reached out to hug you. Or you returned my hug. I needed the clock to rewind back. I needed for you to be at my wedding. I cried harder knowing that it's impossible now.
I struggle everyday with your loss. I didn't expect this to hit me this hard. But it kills me beyond words everyday. I choke on this pain.
Are you happy where I am?
Are you happy seeing how we have 'moved on'?
Show me a sign you are, will you?
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look at the stars, look how they shine for you.
Any usable chat widget goes in here.