joie de vivre

posted : June 19, 2010

I have failed many times esp in academics coz acing exams and getting the grade I deserve was never something I mastered since my first hurdle at the age of 12. Every P6 kid's struggle. But somehow today, at the end of the test the disappointment just sank in that I was the unlucky one who got the 2 most wonderful questions in the world. One with two crazy angle mates which somehow failed to orientate itself properly. And the other with missing dimensions and arbitrary points. How fucked up can the test get seriously. Seeing the "Sorry, you failed" just killed the spirit I tried to burn with, all this while. I wonder, maybe engineering is really not my cup of tea. Despite me telling myself as I started out this internship, that I might seek a career through this line someway, somehow. All just came crashing down at the end of the certification test. It was like the efforts I put in all this while amounted to nothing. Especially yesterday's training session at Serangoon secondary for 8 continuous hours. To battle my hunger and fatigue to continue troubleshooting the kids projects to my best of ability. For actually getting myself to the training session since I planned on taking an MC. For actually sitting for the test as I thought I should take a half day to rest the overworked body which didn't seem to cooperate with me in the morning. Ah. I always fall the first time in almost everything.

I'm just glad six weeks in 3D Classworks is over. The weekend is here. Hoping that raavan would be at least a lil' better than raavanan. The little kid comes home tomorrow. My body needs rest. My legs are tired controlling the machine. Weekend will just be oh so fine till monday arrives and reality that I didn't make it hits. Each time when we talk about modelling, troubleshooting etc. I just hope I can get through the second half without too much disappointment and pressure.

Sometimes our timing is just wrong. But all other times, maybe we are just wrongly stitched.

1:48 AM