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posted : March 31, 2010
The sad reminders of my life always creep in somehow whenever we plan decent, clean, innocent fun. Ironical how you say the maid will judge when I'm not home. You really failed to see that she would judge me more when I'm home coz she would realise soon enough, if she already hasn't, that you call her name more than you call mine even if it were just for household chores. Why do you even care when what people think of you and judge you? If you claim to be steadfast about your reasons and logic, make me see the enlightenment you have gotten. Though probably I would have to become spastic to swallow your logic behind the rules you set!
Yes, I slipped up once to when I broke your trust. But that doesn't warrant for suspicion each time I am out late. If you knew me well enough, you would already know that day was a big regret until now. The biggest regret my friends, as always, had to bear the brunt of it all. And until now I remember that I was sober enough to realise what shit I had gotten into and realise when the 3 walked out of my house in the middle of the night, but just could not bring myself to stand straight and walk. If you did truly care, you would have allowed them to stay till the morning. But no, you cared. About the facade you potray to the outside world and how people think of you. The dainty oh-so-picture perfect family. Lemme just tell you. Nobody cares. So please live your life. Instead of living it, through the lens of others. And if you did know me well enough, you would already know that each time I take a sip, there is a control in me telling me to stop when I am slightly high even. And the control in me to get me out of it also. So yes. Move on and get on. Right now, I take in all the crap you throw at me and rebutt. But soon you will realise I won't even take it in. And the 2 words you threw without realising that friends mean the most to me. And particularly that friend means more. You don't even deserve to be a mother. I'm not speaking to you till you apologise to me. That is something that won't slip out of my mind. Coz each time I even look at you, disgust fills me for saying such a thing about another lady whom you don't even know. More than the disgust you felt when people trampled upon you by borrowing your wonderful books of treasure. And you. You better be good before you judge me or even others for that matter god damnit! |