joie de vivre

posted : February 13, 2008

The past couple of days have been very emotionally draining on me. With a very close death to handle as well as others I came to know of. As I said, handling death on it own is far scarier than death by itself. Its very hard to come to terms with a loss of a loved one whatever the cause for death maybe. It might be slightly easier if it’s due to illness, or a fatal medical condition that was dragging on. But how about if it’s a sudden death, an accident or maybe suicide.

And as we all grow older, I realized it’s high time we would have to learn to handle and overcome death. And as the days go by, the deaths that are happening around me are drawing closer and closer to me. The thought of having to handle another death soon enough sends a shiver down my spine. But that’s the reality humans always shy away from. We assume everybody lives forever. We assume we have all the time to show our love to the people who mean something, need not be everything, to us. We assume we have many more days left to show our appreciation. Convey a thanks. Give an apology. Share a warm hug. Have a deep conversation with. We assume that the day will never be tomorrow. And what if it is. The person you see every single day, spend a good 8-9 hours with every day, share all your ups and downs with, who has seen you through everything, goes just like that. The very next day. Just like that. How are you going to cope with the feeling you never gotta chance to say a proper goodbye. You would wish. For just a day more. For just an hour more. For just a second more to convey everything with a glance. You would really wish. You would never realise the fragility of life, scariness of death, grievances, things that come after a demise of a loved one, till it hits your door. Till then you will leave on many assumptions. Till then you will never treasure your life.

I’m still yet to come to terms with death.

4:16 PM